C things

I don't know if I stand alone in this conclusion, or if it is one that is somewhat common.  I have recently come to a realization and I don't like it.

Over the span of the 25 years 1 month and 11 days that I've been alive on this earth it seems that the things I want are pretty much on the nose always always out of reach.

I'm not talking about I want an Ipad, and I don't have the $500 to buy one. I'm talking about big things, like C things. I am A, but B stands in the way and I can never have C. Or I have L, M, N, O and I will never legitimately be able to get to where C is close enough to be achievable.

I know this is very vague, and most likely confusing to everyone that can't see inside of my brain, which is no one. So I guess I do stand alone in these frustrations. What should a girl do? Continue to strive for the C things? Or find things that are in reach and learn to want them?

The Itch

Have you ever felt so completely happy one week... and the next all of that changes? for example. my life.
I've been quite content for quite a while.

My family is amazing and lives a hop, a skip and a jump away, give or take a few miles.
I have an incredible group of ridiculously rad friends, near and far.
I love my roommate and our home.
I have a full time job that I adore, all inclusive of a loving church family, a boss who is a complete rock-star, and of course the infamous lunch bunch.
I'm slowly kicking my debt's butt...very slowly, but it's happening.

So, all of that to say: I have a stable income, a stable living situation, a stable group of people that surrounds me, and a set of stable goals (aka the butt kicking I spoke of before.)

I love where I am right now.

During the last couple of weeks (cue creepy music) IT happened. The Itch.
If one were to superimpose a blank time-line over the story of my life, they would be able to clearly mark the other moments that I've been "infected" (for lack of a better word) by The Itch.

I can't tell you the exact moment in the past few weeks that it happened...but it did. Every single time this has happened to me, I have not only had to step out in faith but also leap over mounds of fear, and rely not only on my strength but on a strength that is so much deeper than myself.

The difference between previous Itches, and the most recent "infection" is that I know that I am in the right place, where before I knew it was time for something new.

I'm not going to ignore the itch, because maybe I do need change, something new, but maybe it isn't necessarily moving half way around the world again. We'll see what comes of this Itch. I just needed to put it out there to the unknowing universe that once again I have know idea what this means but I'm up for the challenge. I cling to the same faith and strength that I have needed with previous itches, and am excited to continue to embrace Texas.

Life is always changing and I'm continually adventuring- no matter how mundane (or shall I say stable) it may look.

Mad love.

What I know, is what matters.

Well i'm alive.

I'm not going to dwell on the lack of rhyme or reason on why I haven't blogged in over a year, or why I have decided to start blogging (for lack of better term) again. Better late than never I hear. I'm also not going to try to explain or expound upon the past year, but I will say that I loved being an IC Roadie and stayed on a second term to help plan an international event called The Rescue. My time at IC was one of the most wonderful, eye-opening, influencing experiences of my life...please check out what they are doing and help end Africa's longest running war.. shameless plug.

Now I'm back in Texas living, learning, and job-searching.

Well I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want to be "when I grow up". Or even what I want to do in life. I've been asked this question in several interviews (due to operation job-find), and the best answer I can come up with is that I have no idea. It is safe to say that: I have no clue what I want to make of my life.

Some days I feel like this is all fine and there is time to let life happen; that love and peace will bring me through it. Other days I wake up and feel like I'm completely suffocating and have a really hard time clinging to anything that is true and real, watching the clock go completely out of control like a bad dream. I've found that I'm not necessarily looking for the answers to the life questions (well I am, but I know that is a lot to ask) but I'm looking for some resemblance of balance. So my questions lie in how to find balance. How to stand in the fact that there is already a divine path that has been laid before me, and also how to grasp that this said plan and "my" plan may or may not be the same thing, let alone the right thing.

I stand not necessarily confused, but momentarily frustrated.

What I do know is this: I want to live a life filled with love, surrounded by friends and family, and occupied by sweet poise and grace. I want to fight for those who can't fight for themselves; to be a voice for the voiceless. I want to love people well and live like love is not only possible but the only option. I want to throw any qualms out the window and strive for adventure, no matter how mundane it may be.

Stuff White People Like- right on!

ok, so I know what most of you are thinking, and others of you may be freaking out- who really knows...two posts in one day, wow.

Now that we are past that, I have been procrastinating work 

this morning, and any of the legitimately urgent (or not so urgent) things I need to accomplish within the span of work hours (being 9-6 [ish]) will be pushed back for a few, meaning i will have to work 'late' tonight, mai ben rai ka- no worries. 

Anyway, in my procrastination I came across a post on a blog that is quite humorous and pretty much 100% accurate, the majority of the time. Take today's post for example... the story of my life.

Absolutely completely Right on.

peace, love, and africa...

exploit, experience, feat, escapade...

Ok so I was thinking about changing it up a bit, but the thesaurus has nothing on the word adventure, as seen by the first four words in this post. Escapade could be kind of cool but actually kind of sounds like an age 7 birthday party next to adventure, not sure but possibly.

All of that to say: I will soon embark on my next adventure--(in 13 days to be exact).

I am going on the road as a 'Roadie' with IC. 

It's a 5 month internship: 

We are in San Diego for training during the first month.

And then in the beginning of September we leave to make the wide open road our friend for 3 months.

Then back to SD for a month to follow up and process the whole thing.

and so,

The New Adventure begins!

5 months total, 40 new friends and fellow roadies, 3 months on tour, 2 guys/2 girls, one van, and miles upon miles of open road for what you ask? 

It all comes down to one thing: to help bring peace to northern Uganda. 

Sorry for the lack of detail/information on IC /Uganda itself... at this moment there is no time to write about everything i want to. 

But, please check it:

 www.invisiblechildren.com -the organization, the movement, the heart

 www.ugandacan.org -you can find up to date information about the situation in Uganda.

I'm off! let's see where this next mundane, or not so mundane adventure leads!

love y'all!

recap extraordinaire

So, I guess I could give a thousand and a half excuses for not updating in a while, but no worries I'll spare you the excuses and just start talking about the craziness that has been life the past couple of months.

The end (and middle at this point) of my toms internship was incredibly fabulous and trying all

 at the same time.  Having so much hope for the future, yet being at the same place I was at in December: confused, open, full on anxiousness, but always hopeful.  I have learned that having a hopeful heart is absolutely necessary. 

Here we go... things that have happened in the past 3 1/2 months:

a. Mallory came to visit for Easter...a most fabulous fun filled so-cal adventure. love you bucket!

b. SD weekend. I went to the Surf Diva event and then spent the weekend at trent's house with becca...a much welcomed break from the fantastic yet over-populated intern condo.

c. My mom came to visit a couple of weeks before my birthday! (I think she finally began to grasp why I love CA so much....which is a huge leap in the right direction.)

d. I flew to TX for my birthday and surprised my family. (i know it is supposed to be the other way around...but it was amazing. props to mallory, ashlee, my brother, mr. johnny brower, and the rest of the family unit.)

e. Speaking of my birthday my fellow interns surprised me with diddy at a fun outlaw's dinner and my dear friend/roommate/fellow intern eric gave me a ticket to the L.A ballet...to say the least such an amazing birthday/present, I absolutely adored it.

f. The weekend before our last week of the internship we all went to DISNEYLAND!! it was indeed a magical place.  (I mean where else can you meet the Aladdin cast, see nick lachey, attend a princess coronation, practically BE Indiana Jones [i don't recommend the fourth movie, complete and utter disappointment], and almost die on crazy 

roller coasters????? yeah, pretty much- DL is a gem of a place- come visit! i'll go again!!)

fII. Blake invited us (all of the interns) to go sailing with him on his boat. So decked out in nautical gear, we went to sail the open sea, but as we all arrived and got settled on the boat the battery ended up being dead. We went over to maggie grace's to play bache ball (a cross between bowling and croquet) and have a barbeque instead (let's just say it was very much a toms style get together :)

g. The last week of the internship was a blur, and I don't think I am over-exaggerating when I say that.  It was packing, 'downloading' ideas, job rejections, job offers, laughs, an epic fun friday, a bounce house, hyphy 'snerd' rap-esque costume contest, tears, more tears, hope for the future, lots of pictures, goodbyes, see-you-laters; it was the end of an era in all of our lives, and the beginning of the next. 

h. I flew to Boston for the first time ever.  My best friend from college, Megan Marie Mcmurry was graduating from grad school at Boston College, and I flew up to surprise her- she freaked!

i. From Boston I flew to DC, and then to Florida, and finally arrived in TX! It was a short trip, but a trip indeed. In texas I spent time in Waco, spent time with the fam, went to six flags, medieval times, and the movies, celebrated memorial day, mom's birthday, and packed my things.

j. I rented a truck from enterprise, and with the help of my bestie, ashlee j owens, we road-tripped from TX-CA in a 15 foot truck....insane i know- but fabulous all the while. ashlee spent a couple of days in L.A. and then flew back to TX.

ok. So this brings us up to date for the most part. Yes, I moved to California for a second time

 in six months, and am now living on the west side two blocks from the beach in beautiful Playa del Rey (still very close to L.A. and Santa Monica).  I am living in a 2 bedroom apt. with three of the girls I met through the internship (Kirsten, Becca, and Abbi), and Molly who is taking Mallory's place until she graduates at the end of summer. I was offered a job to work for Candice Wolfswinkel as a PA, or personal assistant. Not sure what the next couple of months hold, but I have signed a year long lease...so let the mundane adventure that is my life continue!